The Diabetic Problem

Arden's Cover Page

It seems that this is the day. Arden asked us last week if she could post something that she wrote at school on Arden's Day. After some serious consideration, we said yes. The following is Arden's 3rd grade writing project. Her assignment was to write a piece of Realistic Fiction, a story that could feasible happen. Be sure to read Arden's Author's Note (Her words, she actually said, "I want to write an author's note after my story) that follows the story.

'The Diabetic Problem' by Arden Benner

Ever since Emme's doctor told her she had diabetes she changed. Now she always had to test her blood sugar. She has to give herself insulin and when someone asked what she was doing, she always had to tell them. She was getting TIRED of it! The worst part of all, some kids even made fun of her! She did not want to test her blood sugar anymore or give insulin to herself. But what would she do about her diabetes... What would she do?

She went to school the one day and decided to sit at the "cool" table. She did not test her blood sugar or give herself insulin. In the middle of lunch she passed out on the cafeteria floor! One of the girls that always picked on her, Mackenzie, went for help. Emme went right to the hospital. She woke up the next morning and her whole family was there. She saw something in the corner of her eye. She looked to her right and saw the girl that helped her when she passed out.

Emme looked straight at her and said, "Thank you". The girl looked right back at her and replied, "you're welcome", then the girl gave Emme a hug. Emme asked, "why did you help me, you hardly know me?"

"I may not know you but I've been through this before, my dad has diabetes" replied the girl. "Just last week my dad had a scary incident like you did in the cafeteria".

"Really", replied Emme. The girl hugged her again.

The next morning Emme woke up surrounded by her family. She had a great idea and said, "Maybe we should all go into school including Mackenzie and... TELL THEM WHAT DIABETES IS"

Everyone thought that was a great idea and so they all went to school that day.

Now they know what it means. They asked so many questions. How did you get diabetes? Is there a certain reason that you have it? Why do you have it when no one else in your family does?

"All I know is diabetes choose me... I didn't choose diabetes", Emme responded.

From that day on her classmates were a lot nicer to her.

Author's Note: Hi this is Arden. I am going to tell you a little more about my story. This story was kind of based on my life, but I have never been treated this way. I want to thank my dad for making this blog and for telling the kids in my school about diabetes so that I don't get treated poorly like the girl in my story. You should not read this story and think that it was just cute and kind. I think this story is more about how nice my family is and how well they treat and help me. I want to thank my dad Scott, my mom Kelly and even my brother Cole for taking such good care of me. Thank you. - Arden Benner

Emme and Mackenzie

Update on Tuesday, February 12, 2013 at 9:29PM by Scott Benner

Thank you to everyone in the DOC for all of the great support today. Blue Jays Pitcher Brandon Marrow even 'pitched' in!

Everyone Poops

Link is to Barnes and Noble

The Children's book Everyone Poops takes away the stigma of talking about bowl movements with your children. Both of my kids read this weird little gem when they were potty training and I hope that you did as well, because I got some shit to talk about.

The first time I thought that I was imagining things, the second time it seemed like a coincidence. I ignored the fact that Arden's BG seemed to fall after she, well, pooped. Then one day a few weeks ago Kelly mentioned it to me and last week I saw someone on FaceBook ask the question. Today, we are going to get to the bottom (pun intended and it won't be the last one) of this most vexing, strange, yet natural type I diabetes question.

Everyone poops, but is everyone's BG effected by having one in the chamber?

I'm considering making an addition to the endless questions that I ask when I can't figure out why Arden's blood glucose won't come down. In the past it was, did she eat something I don't know about, maybe I mis-calculated carbs, do we have a bad site and the rest of the usual suspects. I'm getting close to asking, "when was the last time you made a number two" to that list.

My parental detective work can only take me so far. I need help. I need to know the answers to a couple of more scientific questions that I'm hoping you may have some insight about.

• Does our waste material still contain carbohydrates?


• If yes, are the carbs being leached from the intestines?


• If no, what is it about having a belly full that could raise BGs?

This is the only hypothesis that makes sense to me but I am more then willing to believe that I am, you'll excuse me for this but, full of crap. I have witnessed this oddity consistently over a long enough period of time to say that we see higher BGs when it's been awhile since a BM. Moreover, these BGs always seem to drop rapidly after the completion of a belated constitutional.

So that's it. If you've noticed this phenomenon please leave a comment and share your observations. If you haven't, please keep your eyes open and report back with the skinny (thought I was going to say poop didn't you?).

An Unexpected Conversation

Arden didn't want to see 'The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey' but the rest of us did. She told us that she would come anyway and, "take a nap if I get bored". It wasn't long after she snacked on some popcorn and chips that Arden shifted herself around in her seat, raised the arm rest and laid her head on Kelly's leg. Arden probably slept through the last ninety minutes of the movie, her BG from the snacking didn't take the same break.

I had Arden's DexCom receiver under my leg and was watching it for a rise in her BG. I rarely seem to cover those movie snacks in a way that completely holds down a spike. I probably checked the CGM once every twenty minutes, setting one temp basal over the first hour.

About thirty minutes before the movie ended Arden's CGM shook, she was going to need another bolus. Before I bolused I wanted to go back through the recent insulin delivery history so that I could make a good decision, I was trying to avoid testing Arden in the theater while she was sleeping. I had a pretty good feel for what I wanted to do but felt like it was important to review the last two hours before I pushed any buttons. I must have gotten engrossed in the data because I unknowingly brought the PDM up to my face to read the numbers. When I did the barrier that my seat and legs were providing against the light was lost, the PDM screen was now visible to others in the theater.

Before I could realize what I had done, an angry female voice emanating from my left spoke, "put that phone away, it's rude".

The instant that her words reached my brain I was enraged. My chest felt as if my heart had turned to molten lava and my mind was begging me to release the mixture and drown her with it. I'm embarrassed to tell you how insanely angry I was. My heart rated doubled, I could feel the adrenaline coursing through me. I instantly had a genuine desire to eviscerate the person that spoke in the dark. I wanted to rip her open and pour the hot pain that was boiling in my chest into hers... so that she would know how terribly misguided her words were.

Except that she was right...

I was that guy holding a bright light in a pitch black movie theater. I was interrupting the people around me. The woman who spoke made a completely reasonable assumption that I was holding my cell phone, I probably would have done the same thing. I knew that intellectually, but I still wanted to scream at her. I had to use breathing exercises to let the anger out of my chest. It took me a long few minutes to ride out the adrenaline. I kept thinking about her words as I waited for my primal response to dissipate, thinking of everything that I wanted to scream at her. I thought about it over and over until I could absorb and believe the truth. I was so blinded by anger and my desiree to defend Arden that I was unable to give my thoughts enough clout to overcome my rage. Eventually, my better judgement won out and I began to allow the truth to rule this moment, I was being unreasonable. When I was finally able to relieve myself of the rage that filled me, I was flooded with the notion that, "If she only knew, her reaction would be so very different... if she just understood that Arden has diabetes".

When the movie ended I checked with my son to make sure that the woman sitting two seats from him was the one who spoke. He told me that it was, I immediately stood up and approached her. "Excuse me, can I just have a few seconds of your time", I said. She wasn't sure what to make of my request and so I sat in the empty seat between her and Cole and began to speak before she could answer. "It wasn't a cell phone... it was my daughter's insulin pump, she has type I diabetes".

She calmly replied with an air of superiority, "You still should have taken it outside"...

Well, that didn't sit well with me as perhaps you can imagine. I politely but sternly asked her if I should have taken my daughter outside to give her the insulin that keeps her alive. My displeasure was on display.

To her credit she rethought her statement and recanted it, making up an only half-believable excuse about not understanding what I initially said. If I'm being honest, she was on her guard as I approached and I understood that her first words were defensive.

I explained again, apologized for not doing a better job of quelling the light and thought that, with that, we would part ways. Except that she seemed hell bent on making her point about rude people and their cell phones. It seemed that she was beginning to feel badly about our misunderstanding and wanted to legitimize her response. She began to defend her self but I cut her off before she could get on her soap box, and said this...

"If I can just have thirty more seconds of your time. There is a piece of writing that I love, it's a speech called 'This Is Water', the author makes a number of points in the text, one of them is this. We all see people everyday who drive like assholes. Chances are that most of them are actually assholes, but one of them must have a good reason for speeding and switching lanes too much, one of them must have an emergency that we could all understand. The author makes the point that you can spend your life assuming that those people are assholes, or you can make the humane choice to believe that they have a really good reason for driving that way. I choose to think the latter and I hope that this experience helps you to make the same decision next time something like this happens to you."

Now I must tell all of you that I am not normally the guy that lends strangers advice that they don't want and didn't ask for. I was driven in this moment by the desire to not just defend Arden but each and every one of you. Maybe I was out of line, I think that I was, but people living with diabetes deserve a little bit of... of what? We deserve a little extra compassion. I know that because I live this life, the same life that you live. As I was speaking to her my own words reminded me that everyone has diabetes sometimes, that we all need a little extra compassion once and a while. That acting with concern instead of contempt is one of the most basic and loving human gifts. Too often we respond to others pain with judgement, and if my experience on this night is any indication, we do so because of the judgment that we perceive has been previously levied upon us.

I apologized to the woman again for impugning her, I insulted her by insinuating that she saw the drivers as assholes. Perhaps she doesn't, maybe she's just been to one too many movies where someone pulled out their phone. Either way, I said my peace, defended my daughter and tried to be an advocate for, not just you, but for everyone that could use a break once and a while. Maybe I thought, maybe next time she'll find the strength to hold her boiling lava inside and approach her next issue as I did. Maybe I started a positive wave that will carry into the future. I hoped that my actions would be the start of more human kindness - but maybe she just thought I was an asshole.

When we got to the car Kelly asked me why I was talking to the people next to Cole. I told her this story and then I told my children this. "When I was young I would have yelled at that woman, I would have embarrassed her the way that she embarrassed me, I would have mocked her and verbally punished her for daring to speak up for herself. I grew up just outside of Philadelphia and I wasn't raised to take shit from people, even if I deserved it... I'm glad that I grew up. I hope that you can control yourself when this happens to you one day, and it will." I told them how difficult that it was for me to maintain my composure and I did my best to describe how angry and defensive of Arden I felt when she spoke. I really hoped that my kids got something more out of this evening then popcorn and a movie (and a nap). I'm sharing my experience with you for the exact same reason.

The woman thanked me for taking the time to explain, we shook hands and wished each other a Happy New Year. I think that she was glad that I spoke to her, I at least hope that she was... I know that I was.

Everyone needs a break sometimes... Do your best to remind yourself of that in 2013. It's not always true that the ignorance you face has understandable beginnings, but it does you far more personal damage to believe the worst in people and the assumption gets us no where, it actually holds us back. When you give others the benefit of the doubt, you may be starting a kindness that will one day find it's way back to you or another person whose life is not that much different from ours.

Happy New Year!

All my best, Scott

I'm the Cornerback

I found myself yesterday explaining to a friend some things about diabetes. During the conversation I mentioned that Arden's BGs have been all over the place for the last few days. They were high yesterday morning and I couldn't get them to budge. Then, as if someone flipped a switch, they were suddenly perfect for the remainder of the day. Early the next morning after some late night Christmas wrapping, I was heading to bed and I checked on Arden for what I thought would be one last time. Arden's CGM told me that her BG had begun to fall fifteen minutes before I arrived in her room. I tried to stop it with a temp basal but I was concerned that I was too late, so I settled in and waited to see where the bottom of this drop was going to be. Maybe, I hoped, maybe I won't have to wake her but I knew in the back of my mind that I was going to be chasing this BG all night.

The next day as I was explaining to my friend that managing diabetes is a lot like playing cornerback in the NFL, I realized that I was correct in more then a just a few ways. When you play football as a defensive player there is one truth, no matter what you do, or how much you practice, the guy you are defending is always one step ahead. In this example, the wide receiver (diabetes) has a head start. You may be just as fast and even more nimble but he always has the unfair advantage of knowing the route he plans to run while you are left to try and keep up. There are two ways to cover a wide receiver, you can be smart or you can be flashy. A smart corner keeps up with his opponent, always staying within reach. He reads tells in the receiver's body language, looks for clues in the alignment of the offense and then he let's his skill and talent guide him to a place on the field were the final act of their battle takes place. It's in that spot where, with luck, he'll be able to react in time to stop the receiver from catching the ball. 

All the receiver wants in the world is to get away from his defender so he can make a catch, score and beat the defender. The cornerback, being a defensively minded participant in the game, he just wants to stop the receiver from advancing more then anything else. When a corner fails at his job pundits says he was burned, because that is exactly what it feels like. It's a terrible feeling to make your move and miss the ball. Your momentum takes your body out of position, you are no longer in a place to effect the play. You give chase, but you know just as everyone else looking on does, that you'll never catch back up to the man with the ball. The man you were charged with stopping. I've stood on a football field and watched my man, the guy I know I can beat, run away. He's outsmarted me, out performed me, he's beaten me. I know it, everyone else knows it, but what hurts the most is that he knows.

That's were the similarities between football and diabetes stop. Diabetes doesn't know it just beat me, but I still feel burned. Eventually I gave up that night and woke Arden so she could drink some juice. Then I chased her BG until the early hours of the morning.

Some times when I'm able to keep up with diabetes and my skills take over, I make an awesome play on the ball. I've knocked a few passes, that were going for touchdowns, out of the air. Once and a while, when unleash my flashy, I pick one off and take it back for six.

Each morning when Arden wakes up, I'm renewed by the look on her face and ready to run with diabetes again. We stand across from one another, look deep into each other's souls and wait in the intense silence for the ball to be snapped. I hope that one day, someone will walk on the field, take their ball and go home. Until then, I scrap with the guy that lines up across from me, doesn't matter what number is on his chest - 56, 347, doesn't matter. I know what he wants, but I have a surprise for my opponent... I want it more.

DSMA Live (feat. me)

The nicest recurring compliment that I've ever received comes from people who know me in real life, has to, here's why. People say that when they read my writing they can, "hear my voice". One of my dear friends told me that it's like having me read to him. I always find this sentiment particularly touching.

So if "having me read to you" sounds like an attractive idea, you are in luck. On Monday, December 17, 2012 at 9 pm I'm going to be chatting my silly head off with Bennet and Lorraine on DSMA Live, Parents Talk. Feel confident that you'll hear more then enough of my mellifluous and dulcet tones to give you the ability to hear me when you read my stuff too. Cause no joke, I talk a lot. I'm betting that anyone that tunes in late won't even know Lorraine and Bennet are there, sorry guys!

The hosts haven't shared what topics they are hoping to cover with the exception of one. We are going to talk in a bit of detail about how I forged the good relationship that we have at Arden's school and turned it into our current type I diabetes management plan. The rest will be a surprise even to me. So if 504 plans and cool new ways to manage your kid's BGs while they're not with you sounds like a fun way to spend an hour, this will be right up your alley.

I can tell you a few things for sure. It'll be fun, informative and if you call in to say hello or ask a question... I'd love that very much!

details

Monday, December 17, 2012, 9:00 pm

You can listen live at 9 pm with this link.

I'll have a few copies of my new book to giveaway (Thanks Spry!), 760-283-5150 if you want to call in.

After the show has ended you can listen to a replay at the link or via iTunes.

Talk to you Monday!

Scott